Your Arrival

Someday will come. I promise. 

Someday you won’t care anymore where they’re at or what they’re doing. You won’t see their picture and feel a twinge of what if…I’d never let him say hello. You won’t hear their name and feel the hot sting of fear. You won’t wonder who they’re with and what lies they’re telling about you or themselves, even in the dark of the night when their guilt is eating them alive and no one else can hear them. You won’t care what their version of the truth is. You won’t be hurt if they gave your song away to her because you’ve already taken that back. You’ve taken everything back. Your power, your memories, your places, your freedom. You’ll feel light and breezy, and at peace and you’ll know that’s because someday is here and you don’t have to worry anymore about watching your back, guarding your words, walking on eggshells or trying to figure out if you’re being gaslighted or not. You won’t have to anticipate their moods or wonder why they feel a need to emotionally manipulate you. You won’t be more protective of their heart and wounds than your own, because you’ll understand now it was futile. You’ll realize that every time you felt like something was off when you were together, you were right. You weren’t crazy and, yes, you were in an unhealthy emotional and physical place with a person who wasn’t safe, and you’ll be so glad you chose not to abandon yourself, even though the way or the why wasn’t clear and going forward alone was scary. 

You’ll arrive. To a stronger, healthier, more evolved version of you. 

Because what you did with the time after every hope and dream fell apart was work on the pieces of you that broke or got buried beneath the rubble and confusion of the insidious toxicity. You were hurting, yet wise enough to realize there was a great deal of knowledge to be carried forward and you wanted that, so you chose to feel everything, unravel every layer and put each remnant where it belonged, all the beauty, the sadness and the pain. You didn’t distract yourself and ignore the deep, piercing ache, instead you leaned into its heat, absorbed every nuance and learned from the discomfort. You let yourself cry, walk through the misty moments of remembering and you finally breathed. The kind of restorative inhale and exhale you could never take when you were together. You gained perspective, felt the softening of your heart return, slowly began to refuel the light of self-esteem that was dimmed in the struggle and you found your way to trusting yourself again. You could finally hear that once familiar faint whisper, the voice of your Knowing, above everything else. And you carried it all with grace and gratitude.

Because you are a warrior. You invite the lessons. Your resilience is mighty and forged from the sharp and shattered pieces that people tried to destroy you with. In fact, they reveled in it, and oh, how they underestimated you. 

You choose triumph. You are indestructible. You will ever rise. You will always rebuild. And each time you do, you will be a new and more powerful force to be reckoned with, possessing a shining brilliance that cannot be overshadowed or cast out by someone else’s darkness. 

Your clarity will set you free.