(Author’s note, this was written from an experience in 2016, during one of my favorite seasons in life. The message is still relevant and this man remains my dear friend.)
So today while I was laying in bed with my guy, spooning and napping, yes, in the middle of the day, on a Monday, I found myself anxious, wondering how I could sneak out from the folds of his strong, comforting arms, unwrap my legs from his, move my cold feet from under his warm ones, and get up. I know, don’t say it. I was restless. I was overly tired from last night’s insomnia, hadn’t expected a nap and couldn’t sleep. There were workmen right outside my window and all I could do was hear their conversations, and their phones ringing, and the garbage truck, and then I started counting all those little popcorn texture thingies on the ceiling (there are a lot, in case you’re wondering) and then I looked at every picture hanging on my wall and recounted every story and memory that went with each one, and then of course I thought of a really good blog idea and wanted to write it down before I forgot, and man, I’m not used to laying so still and in one place for so long and my leg started to ache…and blah, blah, blah!!
I did actually find a quiet way to get up because by then I really was cold and I really did have to pee…but then he sat up and beckoned me back to bed, pulling back the sheet. “C’mere, c’mere, c’mere,” he said sleepily, and he motioned me over with his fingers. Of course, I jumped back in, I’m not an idiot!! Much.
And as I did, it occurred to me…WOMAN, ARE YOU CRAZY?!? YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH A VERY HOT, VERY PASSIONATE, AND VERY RIPPED YOUNGER MAN, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, ON A MONDAY!!! LOTS OF WOMEN WOULD GIVE AN ARM TO BE WHERE YOU ARE NOW!! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS?? COUNT THE DAMN CEILING THINGIES AND JUST EMBRACE IT!!!
So I did, and no, I still didn’t sleep, but it didn’t matter…we spooned, and cuddled and at one point I couldn’t tell his breath from mine. And he whispered, “Are you comfy, are you content, are you warm?” Am I content, who says that??
It felt like the most amazingly, comforting thing anyone ever said to me!
Bliss. Pure. Bliss.
Tonight, I smile about my day, because there was so much to smile about…we started out grocery shopping and then cooked breakfast together, we talked and laughed about our irreverent outing to the museum last week and how his favorite part was breaking into The Cookie Monster song at the lunch counter and being so silly that the security guard was following us, and then we did more yada, yada, yada, and then we hung out and did nothing but relax on the couch while he held my legs over his lap, and talked about how much we love doing nothing together. The ease of being. The simple pleasures.
And, as I smile, I consider the idea that it is a rare and wonderful thing to just live with abandon, on a weekday or any other, with someone you enjoy so completely, partner or friend, and that I never want to take it for granted. Ever.
A day to play. With good company. With no other obligations. My friend reminded me that she can count on one hand how many of those days she’s had in her life, with anyone. And I am lucky enough to have them fairly often as we always play on our days together, even though they are few and far between. We make it a point and a plan. We schedule it. We savor it. We enjoy everything from good restaurants to home cooking, to movies and museums, to ice skating and roller coasters. We make sure we stay in and we make sure we go out. And every single time we’re together, we laugh, we talk, we hold hands, we have fun! He’s not my happily ever after, but he sure is my happily doing this right now. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.
And this is good for us, we’re both getting what we need. So we soak it up!!
This is my time, our time, and one never knows when it’s done. And I almost let that slip my mind today.
So next time I get the chance to take a mid morning, do nothing, sleepy Monday nap…yeah, sign me up. No ceiling thingies required.