Trust Your Gut
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I’m overreacting. Sure, everything in me is screaming that something isn’t right…but, nah, I’m probably just overthinking. Or being too sensitive. I’ll just ignore this.
Nope, nope, nopity nope. Stop it. You weren’t. You aren’t. That’s your instinct talking. That’s YOU. It is giving you the ding, ding, ding of the warning bell, the information you need, the answers you seek. We, especially as women, spend so much time asking our voice to guide us then avoiding the very thing it offers. Because we don’t like the sound of the truth when it requires us to do something hard or mean. Leave the relationship. Change careers. Have the awkward conversation. Release a friendship. Ask to have our needs met. Hurt someone’s feelings. Make an unpopular life choice.
Silencing our inner voice is never a good decision. That divine truth that lives inside of us will always steer us like the North Star. We need to get out of our own way and allow it.
I have literally spent years regaining the power of my own voice, which helped sharpen my intuition, after having it squelched like a cigarette butt under someone’s shoe, from age 3 through two dysfunctional marriages, well into my 50’s. That’s a lot of unpacking. A lot of trust to reestablish with myself.
At age 21 I was consumed with strong intuitive feelings telling me not to go through with my first marriage and mistook them for “Cold Feet.” That was socially acceptable. I thought I was experiencing fear since I had never seen an appropriate model of marriage. I vowed to push through it. Boy, was I off base. What I didn’t realize is that it was actually an admonition. Cold Feet isn’t a thing. It’s a sign that something’s wrong. We’ve normalized that phrase which only lends itself to women everywhere ignoring what they know and going through with the biggest decision of their lives for a myriad of reasons that have little to do with love or the union of matrimony itself. That part of my life blessed me with my daughters and over time taught me to reacquaint my whole being with that vital subconscious reasoning that always knows. My marriage was a mess, I was being subtly, verbally abused and gaslighted, doing the financial and emotional heavy lifting, while raising our children, and I felt crazy. I began to dig deep and from that came understanding of the profound correlation between the choices I made without enough information and the all times I had ignored my ‘gut’. It was unfamiliar to me, that nudging, yet it followed me with consistency and a soft, quiet invitation. It took time and patience as I relearned how it felt, how it spoke to me, and how it manifested in my body. Because it does. Listening became everything. I discovered that my Knowing is as reliable as the sun rising and it demanded my attention if it was going to serve me well.
I don’t ignore that shit now. It’s sacred ground to me.
So, how do you learn to trust your own discernment after your voice has been silenced and you can no longer hear what’s going on inside? Baby steps. You start realigning with your core feelings. Without judgement or harsh criticism. You quiet the chatter from anything outside yourself and approach life with intention. As you honor it, you will get better at noticing your knee jerk reactions versus your healthy responses. You will heed those “something’s not right’ moments without hesitation. Eventually, you won’t need others to validate what you hear because you will align with your inherent gift.
As women, we tend to question our worthiness to feel, to take up space in a room, so second guessing it is easy. But your intuition is a force that encompassess all aspects of your life, from how you show up in a conflict to the everyday decisions that create how you live. It is your superpower. Many of us are also nurturers who emote, crave meaningful conversations, and bring a fresh perspective of emotional intelligence to the table. We express ourselves openly. Makes sense that our mental stability is often the first point of attack when someone wants to discredit us. It’s an easy scapegoat and a place to put their discomfort. They will accuse you of overreacting. Being too sensitive. Not thinking things through. Being, god forbid, too ‘emotional’. Yeah, that word. Without fail I have seen that from people who struggle with their own expressions of vulnerability and have no frame of reference for navigating their feelings. When they begin to plant seeds of doubt and you believe them on any level it will perpetuate a negative ripple effect on how you hear your own voice.
I’m an empath and struggled with that for years since it is often perceived as weakness. I cry when I’m afraid, hurt or feeling small. It’s not a defensive weapon, it’s an expression, an attribute I’m learning to embrace instead of feeling shame about. My tears inform me. I am a heart on my sleeve gal. I feel deeply, not just my own energy, but that of others. I love intensely. I laugh loud. I live with passion and purpose. I have complex layers and tangible energy which means I have always been told I was too much from those who couldn’t tolerate the intensity.
I’m not. You’re not.
We’re exactly who we should be.
Look, you’re a bright woman. You know if you’ve got your shit together, so embrace that with confidence. Some days you’ll show up with integrity and all your communication skills intact, some days you’ll be an irritable, exhausted train wreck. We all have bad days. We all get short tempered. We all react when we should listen. We’re human. Finding your way back to trusting what you already know will be the best gift you ever give yourself. No bad decision was ever made from intuition. Those all come from NOT paying attention!
If you have a hunch, a nagging feeling, a persistent whispering, LISTEN. When you are in a situation that requires your response. LISTEN. Let that response flow from your well of truth. It’s uniquely yours. If you have a difficult choice to make, let your instincts guide, then sit with it and see how it feels in you. Truth is palpable, softens the edges and doesn’t need proving. It’s not about someone being right or wrong, it’s about what is authentic for YOU. And don’t let that guy, that gal, that friend, that partner, that family member, or anyone other than yourself tell you any different. It may bring unwanted revelations, but it’s never wrong.
Intuition is the constant that leads us back to self.
Trust. Your. Gut.