After some life altering surprises disrupted my comfort zone and awakened me to realize that my ‘normal’ would never look the same, I plunged into a sea of self discovery, exploring everything that brought me here, unbecoming all those labels and identifiers that never belonged to me. During my swim against the current to find answers, joy and resolution I learned some powerful lessons, made some sweeping missteps, met some incredible people and uncovered layers of my soul that I didn’t even realize had been buried.

Along the way, Facebook became my scrapbook, a way to connect with my long-distance friends and family. Unwittingly it also became a perfect jumping-off place for me to write. A platform to share my voice, my unfolding story, the call of my soul. It felt so natural to put myself out there, just speak my truth and write from my heart, that I was surprised when I began getting positive feedback from people, many I didn’t know, wanting advice, asking questions, seeking insight that might help them. It was one of the reasons I began to consider that my voice had a purpose and that maybe I was creating a safe space for other people to be human, to deal with the complexities of life, the pain of transition, the tightrope of wearing a chronic illness like a second skin and still living a fulfilling life….

But it would still be years of in depth personal growth, managing my health, my heart and many shades of shame, before I could actually take the steps to bring this all to life. 

So, now the pages unfold.

As with all things perfectly led by the universe, the time is here, the right people are guiding me, and finally, finally I have summoned the courage to get out of my own way. I threw a rock in the air and started where it landed, right here, inexperienced, scared and not ready. Because we don’t go into something we’ve never done knowing how to do it. We only know why. And we trust. And that’s enough. 

In these scribbles, you will find stories of humor, growth, the power of intention, living an authentic life and embracing the moment…and whatever else comes to my mind. For better or worse, you’ll get to follow my life, in no specific order, from a unique point of view, similar to Alice falling down the rabbit hole, from an abusive depraved childhood in a Seventh Day Adventist home, to my life as a Mormon, a Temple marriage to a gay man and subsequent divorce, raising my three incredible daughters (the joy of my existence), to my 2nd marriage, with the love of my life at the time, becoming a step-mom, integrating a family and another subsequent divorce, to nearly dying from an illness and surgery after not connecting with my body while working so hard to keep my life together, a direct reflection of the truth I had been avoiding and the life I had been holding on to, like one of those women in the circus that dangles in the air and clinches the rope with her teeth…and the act of courage it took to walk away from all of it and take my life back by moving to North Carolina, sight unseen with no job or friends, with the belongings that would fit in my car and whatever room was in my heart to rebuild and renew…